Well ladies and gentlemans of “teh internets” (and yes I meant to write “gentlemans; grammar nazis), I don’t think there is any way I can possibly continue to draw out the chapter of my life that is the “Canadian Tales“. The time has come, one pregnancy term later, to dog-ear the page and put down the book for a well deserved kip.

That’s not to say that I haven’t done absolutely everything within my almighty skinny frame’s power to squeeze every last juicy drop from one poor carcass of an orange that now remains. For instance just one week ago I was once again extending my “working” holiday to the further reaches of Australia’s north, spending five days basking in the glorious humidity of a monsoon season’s grey sky in Port Douglas, Queensland with a friend.

I couldn’t have asked for a better wind-down than the Sea Temple Resort in little old Pee-Dee (Port Douglas). The holiday destination was borderline a ghost town being the rain season and my days were spent lounging around the pool and drinking. There’s something called the Great Barrier Reef up there somewhere, it didn’t come with a free breakfast buffet and mango cocktails though so I can’t say I got to it. I know, I know, sacrilegious, but another day.

This is all fine and dandy but I guess I should get down to the crux of it, which is the fact that my little soirée into the land of Canuck is over and it’s time to get back to the harsh realities of a real life, a new job and living in Melbourne to which I’ve just resigned to for the next 12 months having signed a new lease.

Obviously I’m asked quite frequently on my opinion of both Canada and my personal adventure and I must say excluding its abrupt ending and the ongoing battle I’m having with my travel insurance company (that’s another post altogether), I had an incredible time! Yes I missed everyone dearly and yes I was homesick on more occasions than I care to remember but it was an experience that I’d never take back, if anything it did nothing more than spur on my interest in doing it again!

For those of you that have seen me since my return I think you’d agree that something’s changed upstairs in the old noggin’. I feel free, unencumbered if you will and enjoying life in all its roller costing glory. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I’ve been contracting and not confining myself to an office 9 to 5, 5 days a week but I think it has far more to do with my own growth and a sense of achievement in knowing that I can survive out there in the big bad scary world; even if it was only Canada and everyone speaks English. But enough with excerpts from my upcoming novel “I went to Canada and I came back a self-help guru” let’s talk highlights!

Snow: Canada was just amazingly beautiful! I could list of a hundred different locations that were just so breath-taking but nothing compares to the first time I walked out of the office at 6pm and felt that first snow flake gently float through the sky to rest on my cheek. Sure I’ve been to snowfields before but this was just so different. You didn’t have to drive three hours up a mountain to find it all I had to do was go outside and there it was. I used to sit in my bedroom and stare out the window at downtown Toronto and just watch the wind carry and swirl the white dots as it pleased. It was just magical and I crave to see it again.

New York: Sure it’s not even in Canada but it was just a 20 minute flight across the border and boy does that city steal my heart! Having a couple of Lincoln lads there doesn’t do you in any disservice either. There aren’t words to describe the magnitude that is New York City. There isn’t anything you couldn’t find in the city and yet ironically you couldn’t not find anything to do. The architecture is what truly steals my heart though and with each visit I make the journey to “Top of the Rock” to breath in the enormity of the city’s beauty.

The Moose: Whilst it may not seem like a huge deal there’s a lengthy story to go along with it that I’ll now condense into one sentence. I saw a moose whilst simply driving down the road while my kayaking friends, rather desperate in their search for fauna, paddled their hearts out for six hours and saw squat! I win!

I had a truly wonderful time living on the other side of the world and to those who are thinking of going to Canada be it for holiday or work I couldn’t recommend it more. Now that I’m home I miss Toronto much more than I thought I would and I’m resolved to return (albeit most likely in a tourist capacity) to explore areas I didn’t have the opportunity to see such as Montreal and Quebec if not that then to see another NHL game!

Thank you Canada, or more specifically Toronto (and Hamilton) you were very good to me. And thus ends the Canadian Tales.

In case you’ve been wondering just what I’ve been up to the past week and a bit let me sum it up in a single word, drinking. It’s been an arduous task of constant lifting from table to mouth consuming countless litres of some foul tasting liquid called “beer”.

It all started when my faux housemate and fellow patriot Dansie and I took a leisurely hour and a half flight to Newark, New Jersey, just outside of New York to where we’d be staying with an American friend Aimee and her housemate Andrea. Joining us in this pilgrimage to the “Land of Opportunity” was another Australian schoolmate Jimmy who would arrive later that day and meet us next to Madison Square Garden for welcoming brews.

The next week is somewhat of a blur. There were moments of clarity in which activities such as the driving range at Chelsea Piers, viewing the Statue of Liberty and viewing the world from atop Rockefeller Plaza were performed however these were mostly scarcely placed admits long nights of beverage consumption ending in sunrises without bed. I can’t complain, or rather I could, most specifically to the tune of my rapidly depleting bank balance but how can you put a price on the true New York experience I ask you?

Whilst I was basked in the glory of all things New York it was blindingly obvious how different my new home country and America actually are. The levels of service and friendless pale in comparison to T.O’s demeanor and the required gratuity (tip) that is expected seem completely unearned in many places we went, but such is life and that’s the American way, you learn to live with it and move on.

After a week of blurred memories and far too much photographic and video evidence of what had actually occurred on nights prior it was a welcome thought to be returning to Canada our entire crew in tow aiming towards a camping adventure in the Algonquin Park three hours north of Toronto. Not so inspiring in thought was the 6am flight that needed to be caught and the three hours sleep barely stolen the night before.

Between New York and the camping adventure to come was a short respite in a drive from Hamilton to Niagara Falls. Hiring a car (in which I drove and actually stayed on the correct side of the road) we travelled contently to a breathtaking destination. Dividing Canada from the US are a set of waterfalls so breath taking that when you stand at the top of them, metres from the megalitres of water that cascade over their edge, your breath is literally sucked from your lungs with the ferocity of the falls power. Water plunges over the falls splashing definitely into the river beneath only to be vaporized and form a cloud of mist that stretches hundreds of metres above it soaking standers by as if caught in a thunderstorm. It’s hard to imagine anyone surviving that has gone over but visit the museum or ask a local and you’ll hear all about it.

One could be forgiven in thinking that perhaps a camping trip would not entail such dizzying drunken heights to which I can only through recorded media attest, but one would be wrong. Despite the four hour drive each way (we started in Hamilton an hour south of Toronto) and despite the daily physical activities of canoeing and hiking (I steered clear of the canoes) each night was met with celebratory liquids. It was Andrea’s birthday on one of the nights after all.

Algonquin park is without a doubt one of the most amazing pieces of nature I’ve bared witness to, and for those of you who know me that’s a pretty remarkable thing to come out of my mouth; or rather fingers; you know because I’m typing this; let’s just say “remarkable thing for me to think”. There.

Laid out over 50,000km is one of the most picturesque wonderlands filled with lakes, trails, forests and wildlife that you could spend a year exploring. I spent the majority of my time jumping from lake to lake, river to river and hiking lookouts trying to capture just a small percentage of its beauty but photos unfortunately just can’t do it justice.

Finally returning to Hamilton yesterday afternoon our numbers have dwindled, Andrea returning to Jersey, Aimee continuing her holiday flying to Costa Rica, Jimmy off to Germany this morning, myself moving up to Toronto today and Dansie left back where we started in Hamilton a chapter closes on this one of the great Canadian Tales.

Photo Sets:
New York
Niagara Falls
Algonquin Park