Lets for a moment forget the fact that I’ve started a new job that has me slowly taming the beast known to the technorati as “Drupal” into a well trained, obediant King Charles Spaniel and concentrate on the rather unbelievable fact that I haven’t had coffee in about a month!

Yes children of the Internets I know it’s a hard fact to comprehend that I Raj “let’s-have-a-coffee” Sanchez could have been turned away from such a wonderful socially accepted addiction. You must be asking yourself “Why? What has happened to my little friend Raj to turn him away from his only true friend, coffee?” Well that’s a fantastic question really, why don’t you pull up your favourite Japanese-restaurant-sitting-cushion and get all settled in while I explain in intricate detail the justification in my passing on the joe.

Coffee in Canada sucks. Explanation over.

OK, I’ll go into a little more detail. If I wanted brown water I’d go down to the street and scoop out a cup from the nearest mud pool I can find. Why and more importantly “how” people can drink percolated coffee is beyond me! Yes it costs about CAD$1.50 for a jumbo mug of the garbage but that’s no reason for the millions of Tim Hortons’ franchises that exist here in plague proportions putting the US’s Starbucks chain to shame. Dare you ask for a “latte” you might find that you’re given something that resembles frothed milk but 9 times out of 10 it came out of an automated machine the likes of which you’d find in a Shell service station midpoint Melbourne and Adelaide.

There is one place I’ve found that does a good coffee, even if the late does come in a glass cup the size of a small water tower, and that’s the hotel I stayed in last year whilst I was visiting, The Drake. I’ve had about three there now and they’re generally pretty on the money.

Now before everyone (well mostly Canadians) out there starts screaming and rushing me in a mob like fashion I open up the comments section of the post to all of you T.dotters to please, please, tell me where I can get a good coffee!

P.S. If you tell me to go to Starbucks, Second Cup or any other chain that serves crap I’ll hunt you down and pour said establishments scolding muck in your lap ;)

Just like a “Two-piece-feed” with a side of Popcorn Chicken and a Pepsi Max from KFC all good things must unfortunately come to an end; and for me my rather obtuse metaphor relates to my time over the last seven weeks of basically being a bum.

You see on Monday I will once again join the sheepish herd that is man-kind in their Monday to Friday work routine of early rising, nose to the grind stone, sleep and repeat. Really though I can’t complain, I’ve had an amazing time since leaving Australia. I’ve explored Toronto, ducked off to New York for a week, I’ve had fantastic fun albeit rather fuzzily remembered fun due to an array of alcoholic boissons (That’s French for beverages people, see I’ve been learning too!).

So what’s the job and more importantly why aren’t I working at the bookstore (Chapters) like I’d planned essentially continuing the life of freedom? Well you see, life doesn’t always go as planned, even for casual free-loaders like myself. In a nutshell if I was to take a part time job I’d be living in a dwarf’s shoebox that has newspaper for carpet and seven other people whom also claim certain vermin infested areas of said space. Having upgraded in quality of living I also needed to upgrade my employment expectations saying goodbye to my dreams of lattes & books to welcome the cold hard reality of my world of professional comfort, PHP programming.

It’s not that bad really, in fact I’m quite looking forward to the job to be honest. I’ll be working for a media agency called “ClimaxMedia” in a nice converted warehouse not far from where I live. An easy commute on the road bike I’m yet to purchase but I promise I’m definitely getting! Climax’s main office is in the next city over, Mississauga, and have just setup in Toronto so it’s an interesting time to come into the company.

Now with a new home, new job, new mobile phone on a ridiculous three year contract and new furniture I’ve really settled in and whilst there’s always cracks of home sickness that creep in from time to time I’m still really excited about what’s to come!

As if Canadians weren’t already the butt of the iPhone world, being America’s North American co-inhabiter they’ve been denied the iPhone longer than anyone would’ve thought. Today however that was all meant to change, I say “meant” because as any of the hundreds to thousands that lined up this morning were sorely disappointed in a severe shortage of stock.

Out of the four stores that I walked between checking out lines and chatting with their patrons I didn’t find a single store with more than 30 phones and then each store seemed to have a 50/50 split of 8GB & 16GB another move I find strange.

So who’s to blame? Well you could say Apple, they are the ones who’re distributing the device across the world today but the majority, whether they’re right or wrong, will say Rogers. Let’s for the moment forget the fact that Roger’s contract length is 3 years, a period that will surely go well beyond this generation of iPhones life-cycle, and again forget that they have a huge monopoly in being the only GSM provider in the country; what really puts the nail in the coffin for these guys is the past week’s worth of controversy in regards to their exorbitant pricing and that “supposedly” Apple decided they’d teach them a lesson by not supplying much stock.

Now there’s no “official” word that this was the case but all fingers point to Rogers. That said I can understand where they’re coming from, this things a cash cow for them. The 3 year contract, high rate plans, it’s money for jam, not to mention they have no competition why would you make your plans cheap? I’ve worked for a telecommunications company for 7 years and trust me the one thing that drives good pricing is competition and Rogers has none.

So blame who you will, it’s unfortunately not going to change the fact that there’s little to no iPhones out there today and you’ll most likely be waiting another week to get a “Jesus Phone” in your hands. Sorry Canada.

In case you’ve been wondering just what I’ve been up to the past week and a bit let me sum it up in a single word, drinking. It’s been an arduous task of constant lifting from table to mouth consuming countless litres of some foul tasting liquid called “beer”.

It all started when my faux housemate and fellow patriot Dansie and I took a leisurely hour and a half flight to Newark, New Jersey, just outside of New York to where we’d be staying with an American friend Aimee and her housemate Andrea. Joining us in this pilgrimage to the “Land of Opportunity” was another Australian schoolmate Jimmy who would arrive later that day and meet us next to Madison Square Garden for welcoming brews.

The next week is somewhat of a blur. There were moments of clarity in which activities such as the driving range at Chelsea Piers, viewing the Statue of Liberty and viewing the world from atop Rockefeller Plaza were performed however these were mostly scarcely placed admits long nights of beverage consumption ending in sunrises without bed. I can’t complain, or rather I could, most specifically to the tune of my rapidly depleting bank balance but how can you put a price on the true New York experience I ask you?

Whilst I was basked in the glory of all things New York it was blindingly obvious how different my new home country and America actually are. The levels of service and friendless pale in comparison to T.O’s demeanor and the required gratuity (tip) that is expected seem completely unearned in many places we went, but such is life and that’s the American way, you learn to live with it and move on.

After a week of blurred memories and far too much photographic and video evidence of what had actually occurred on nights prior it was a welcome thought to be returning to Canada our entire crew in tow aiming towards a camping adventure in the Algonquin Park three hours north of Toronto. Not so inspiring in thought was the 6am flight that needed to be caught and the three hours sleep barely stolen the night before.

Between New York and the camping adventure to come was a short respite in a drive from Hamilton to Niagara Falls. Hiring a car (in which I drove and actually stayed on the correct side of the road) we travelled contently to a breathtaking destination. Dividing Canada from the US are a set of waterfalls so breath taking that when you stand at the top of them, metres from the megalitres of water that cascade over their edge, your breath is literally sucked from your lungs with the ferocity of the falls power. Water plunges over the falls splashing definitely into the river beneath only to be vaporized and form a cloud of mist that stretches hundreds of metres above it soaking standers by as if caught in a thunderstorm. It’s hard to imagine anyone surviving that has gone over but visit the museum or ask a local and you’ll hear all about it.

One could be forgiven in thinking that perhaps a camping trip would not entail such dizzying drunken heights to which I can only through recorded media attest, but one would be wrong. Despite the four hour drive each way (we started in Hamilton an hour south of Toronto) and despite the daily physical activities of canoeing and hiking (I steered clear of the canoes) each night was met with celebratory liquids. It was Andrea’s birthday on one of the nights after all.

Algonquin park is without a doubt one of the most amazing pieces of nature I’ve bared witness to, and for those of you who know me that’s a pretty remarkable thing to come out of my mouth; or rather fingers; you know because I’m typing this; let’s just say “remarkable thing for me to think”. There.

Laid out over 50,000km is one of the most picturesque wonderlands filled with lakes, trails, forests and wildlife that you could spend a year exploring. I spent the majority of my time jumping from lake to lake, river to river and hiking lookouts trying to capture just a small percentage of its beauty but photos unfortunately just can’t do it justice.

Finally returning to Hamilton yesterday afternoon our numbers have dwindled, Andrea returning to Jersey, Aimee continuing her holiday flying to Costa Rica, Jimmy off to Germany this morning, myself moving up to Toronto today and Dansie left back where we started in Hamilton a chapter closes on this one of the great Canadian Tales.

Photo Sets:
New York
Niagara Falls
Algonquin Park

It’s taken three weeks, ten return bus rides between Toronto & Hamilton, twenty seven home visits, over 30 kilometres walked and one custom written web application to map Craigslist entries onto Google Maps but I have finally, FINALLY, found somewhere to live!

Canada unfortunately doesn’t have a great way of finding real estate options. There’s no realestate.com.au or Flate Mate Finder instead you have a whole heap of crappy websites relevant to a company that owns a couple of apartment buildings (sorry, “condos” as they say) or the basic listing style of Craigslist or Kijiji (some retarded Craigslist rip off that eBay recently bought).

From what I found, and what others told me Craigslist was by far the best in terms of number of listings so I went with that, trawling through page after page starting in the lower CAD$500 to begin with. Let’s just say that CAD$500/month isn’t exactly up to what I’d call “livable” conditions. I’m not being a snob here, I’m just saying that if I’m paying you for somewhere to live and you’re giving me a basement the size of a kitty litter box and I’m sharing the house with 6 other people I’d like to know what the other CAD$490 I’m giving you each month is actually for!

Quite obviously my search began to escalate on the fiscal scale and as each week passed and each day turned into another depressing venture I quickly broached my “live-in-Canada-and-not-work-much” limits entering “find-a-real-job-you-bitch”. Now looking at apartments over CAD$750/month I at least guaranteed I’d be living somewhere that had a laundry that didn’t require coins to operate and there’d be no more than 3 people in the house/apartment.

At the end of my tether and only a few days to go before the end of June (they only rent starting on the 1st or if you’re lucky the 15th of each month here) I pushed CAD$800 and looked at what are considered “upper class” condos in downtown Toronto. My last visit entailed trekking between four different options and quickly began liking what I saw, pools, gyms, party rooms on the rooftops of 30 story buildings, and nice new apartments with floors that your feet didn’t stick to as you walked through the kitchen. Unfortunately, the fact that I liked them meant that so did a million other people and I often found myself coming up against others in a war for the available space.

My charisma not being a particularly strong point, especially when I’m exhausted from walking in this freakish Canadian weather all day, was not going to help me. Luckily the 2nd to last place I looked at contained two delightful gents who seemed to be on the same wavelength as myself. One a graphic designer and computer science grad, the other a film grad, into their sport and a PS3 in the lounge. The clincher, once I was in, I offered to buy Metal Gear Solid 4 for all of us to play!

Thanks jebus that’s all over! Now it’s off to New York for a week of fun with Dansie, Jimmy & Aimes.

So while most of you are under the impression that I haven’t been doing anything other than drinking and sleeping here in Toronto last week I popped into the office’s of MGImedia to catch up with Amber Mac and CommandN co-host Will Pate filming a new episode. Unbeknown to me I was to be dragged in at the end to tell a rather embarrassing story of one of my first days here in Toronto when I went shopping… you’ll see.

Now I’m hardly the type of guy to complain (stop laughing) so rather than relay my lovely, fun-filled plane ride half way around the world I thought I’d point out a little discovery I’ve made here only one day into my Canadian journey. It’s hot; it’s mother frakin’ hot; so fraking hot that I’m a tad worried that I might have gotten off in the wrong country or something?!

To all those people that constantly took pleasure in reminding me just how cold it was going to be here in Canada I say “You were wrong bitches!”. Now I take no pleasure in pointing out this fact, nor am I enjoying the fact that today Toronto bear fruits to it’s hottest June day in recorded history! Thank you global warming! Maybe that Al Gore guy is on to something after all?! Hmmmm…

It wasn’t that bad really (33 degrees with 47% humidity), I wore jeans after all, but that may have had something to do with the fact that I only bought one pair of shorts with me and when I pulled them out they kinda needed a wash. That in mind I waded through the steaming heats and went downtown to the Eaton Centre to buy a new pair of shorts only to come back with new shorts, a belt, a new jumper, a prepaid phone (it was cheaper to buy a $70 phone that came with $50 free credit than a SIM separately for $40 and $50 credit) and a bag of Doritos! Ahhhh what a day.

Well that’s all so far folks, I’ll leave you with this photo showing off the view from my quite lovely hotel room…

Deciding to pack up your bat and ball and move to Canada (and work there) is by no means a simple task. In fact, had someone actually made me aware of the seemingly never-ending list of tasks that I’ve been required to perform in order to get me over to Canada I think my lazy arse would’ve just stayed in bed and watched Weeds DVD’s for the next six months instead! Now, now, that’s a little exaggerated, it’s actually not that bad, but as I’ve gotten closer and closer to my departure date (now two days away) I’ve ridden a steepening learning curve and had there been a blog post such as this one it may have made the journey a tad more easy.

Things you’ll need…

• A current passport (which expires at least 6 months after you plan on returning)
• To be under 30, or turning 30 in your year of departure
• Money. At a minimum you’ll need $165 straight up to apply for the Visa, but on top of that you’ll need $4000 to prove you’re not a hindrance on the Canadian economy when you arrive in their fair land.

Step 1 - Apply for your “Working Holiday Program” Visa
This is actually probably the easiest thing you’ll have to do. You see there’s a wonderful little agreement between the Australian and Canadian governments, not that much unlike that with the British, that allows and Australian citizen (under 30) apply for a working visa. To apply all you need to do is log on to the Working Holiday Program website (http://whpcanada.org.au), fill out the necessary form and they’ll be in touch with you shortly to snaffle your $165 application fee.
A few things to know about this particular Working Holiday Program visa…

Step 2 - Sell everything you own
You might not want to sell absolutely everything, it all depends on exactly how long you want to stay away, or if you even plan on coming back at all! That said, there’s plenty of ways to sell all your stuff. For me I created “The Great Ga-RAJ Sale“, a website that listed everything I wanted to get rid of and let people (friends & family that I spammed constantly until they bought something) place their names against items they wanted. Alternatively, if you’re not quite a big a geek as me, you have plenty of other options such as eBay, The Trading Post, and other boring ways… go on, make a website; you know you want to!

Step 3 - Book your tickets
Booking your airfares to another country again, isn’t a hard task, the trick is getting a good price! We all know airfare prices go up and down according to seasons and holidays so your best bet is to try and head over during the off season and avoid major holidays like Christmas for example. The other thing to keep in mind is that if you’re unsure exactly how long you plan on staying you’ll need to book a ticket that has an adjustable return date. Most airlines offer these types of tickets but quite often they’re limited to only a matter of weeks or not at all if you’ve bought a ticket on sale. I chose to go with a ticket that was valid for change anywhere up to a year from my departure date for a nominal fee. Be sure you get yourself a good travel agent, it can save you hundreds, if not thousands!

Step 4 - Find a job & somewhere to live
There’s this wonderful thing called the “Internet” in the world today, just in case you haven’t heard of it, it allows you to do things like look at job and housing listings in another country entirely! Cool hey!? Well, before you actually head over I suggest you jump on the computer and check out a few websites that well get your Canadian life on track.
Craigslist http://craigslist.ca/ (accommodation, jobs & more)
Workopolis http://workopolis.com/ (jobs)
Kijiji http://www.kijiji.ca/ (accommodation, jobs & more)

Step 5 - Get over there, get sorted
Whilst I may not actually be there yet there are a couple of things that are on my list of things to do that need doing once I arrive. For example, you’ll need to apply for a Social Insurance Number (SIN), Canada’s equivalent to Australia’s Tax File Number, more or less. Then there’s setting up a bank account, getting a mobile number, adding the word “ay” on to the end of every sentence and building up an intimate knowledge of every Canadian hockey player and team since the second world war. You’ll be a local in no time!

It’s all pretty easy really. There’s some minor bits and pieces that may add to the complexity of your journey but nothing that’s really going to spring out and surprise you, well that is unless you’re Diabetic like me and you need to go through the three ringed circus that is caring syringes on a plane! So not fun!

For those of you who are unaware of my plans for this year already I thought I’d announce them to the world via me-good-old-blog. You see in just on two months from now I will no longer be gracing the fair shores of England’s penal colony, Van Diemen’s Land; no, I will be relocating to the whiter pastures of the Great White North… Canada. Yes that’s right kids, this little half Indian duck is packing up his bat and ball and fleeing the country in a way completely unlike that of Christopher Skase.

Some of you may posses highly tuned comprehensive skills and remember that I was actually in Canada not too long ago, less than six months to be exact, when I spent less than a week taking in the delights of Toronto. Whilst I did enjoy myself immensely whilst there I can’t say that the city alone is reason enough to drag me half way around the world. There are many factors that have influenced my decision to take this rather unusual plunge on my behalf.

I think it would be easier to describe the decision process in reverse. You see for me I’d always wanted to go overseas and work for a while, it’s just one of things I’ve always wanted to do at least once, but it was always too easy to find reasons that I *couldn’t* go rather than why I should. Perhaps it has something to with my largely pessimistic nature and love of a relatively easy lifestyle that I currently occupy? Perhaps it’s just because I’m a lazy fuck and finding hurdles is easy than jumping then, trust me I should know I snapped a groin muscle jumping them when I was a teenager! Ouch! I’ve always had no trouble finding these excuses, my Diabetes is always a great card to play, I’ve got a good job here, I’m heart broken and an emotional wreck that thrives on the lifestyle not unlike that of a hermit’s? You see it’s all just too natural to come up with these things. So instead of writing down a list of reasons as to why I shouldn’t go I wrote a list of why I should. I didn’t get very far, in fact I only wrote one and doing that took ten minutes of time that I could’ve been using to watch The Biggest Loser or something else of lesser value (if that’s possible).

“Why not?”. Is what I wrote, I know it’s kind of cheating writing a question to answer your original question, and trust me when you’re answering yourself by asking yourself something else things can get mighty confusing, but you know what I couldn’t have written a more honest answer had I listed a million things. I’m young (well I’m under 30), I’ve got nothing really tying me down to Melbourne, I’m good at what I do and should be able to find work easily and well, you only live once, do what you’ve dreamed of!

I chose Canada over other destinations (ie. England) because I loved it there, the people were great, the city was alive and I had the best time of my trip last year when I was there. Add to that the fact that I’ve got some distant relatives, should I get really desperate, and a couple of close mates who’re already occupying the country Aussie style that will undoubtably help me out. All that and frankly London (and the rest of the UK) just didn’t do it for me and there’s nowhere else that’s so easy to get a working visa for.

Of course whilst I’m away I’ll be keeping you all abreast of my adventures and updating this blog with the usual paraphernalia that you’ve all become accustomed to and adore (come on I know you do! hehe). Keep an eye out because I’ll be selling pretty much everything I own to pay for the whole damn trip and prove to the customs dude that I’m worth having in the country (You need to show C$4000 in your account before they let you in!) and I’ll be making everything available online to you all.

In closing, it’s going to be a great adventure, I can’t wait and I’m absolutely scared shitless.