It’s not very often that I talk about being a Diabetic, sure I’ve got the website that I created DiabeticDays, but even with that I don’t particularly enjoy reminding myself that I am a Diabetic by talking about it all that often so this little blog post is somewhat of a rarity.
Lately I’ve been having a few sugar lows at the wonderful hour of 3am, which mean I wake up from my precious slumber and have to shovel sugar into my system before it goes low enough that I have a hypoglycemic attack which could lead to a Diabetic coma. Yes it sounds fun doesn’t it!? I know why they’re happening, I’ve been walking home from work the past few weeks and that combined with the more healthy diet that I’m trying to adhere to for cholesterol reasons all culminate into my body sucking up the nutrients hours after the exercise and not leaving any fatty crap for my insulin to work on. You do your best and adjust the amount of insulin that you take to prevent it form occurring but these things take time.
Anyway, when I wake up and begrudgingly drag myself from under the covers to my cupboard it is a rare opportunity for me to ingest foods that would most definitely be ruled forbidden in a Diabetic’s normal diet. Thoughts of chocolate, cake and ice cream begin to dance around in a Christmas like sugar plum fairy fashion and the possibilities of enjoying a treat seem endless. The problem is these fanciful dreams are crushed by the reality that hang on, you’re a Diabetic, you don’t have these types of things readily available in your pantry cupboards. Sure I keep a few of these things around for emergencies but it’s never what you really want at the time.
For example, last night I had a packet of Mars bars, my old faithful for these types of occasions because I know exactly how much I need to eat, but the thought of eating another freaking Mars bar does nothing more than make me want to vomit at times like these. No last night all I wanted was some ice cream; nothing fancy, just some plain old vanilla ice cream. Some creamy, thick, white gold that would melt in my mouth and its sugary contents dissolve into my blood stream. The silly thing is though that had there been ice cream in the freezer at the time even in addition to the Mars bars that were actually there it would have been the last thing that I’d have wanted. I’d probably want orange juice or cake or jelly beans anything you could think of besides what is actually available at the time.
Post sugar intake the cravings continue but as your brain has gotten back online with a now normal sugar enriched blood flow it turns to food in general. A fresh chicken and lettuce sandwich, pancakes, lamb roast… the possibilities limitless for what I can dedicate the next day to concocting once awoken. A few hours sleep and drive to the supermarket later and those midnight cravings have faded to nothing more than a sickening thought and with a world of ingredients laid before me on their consumer shelves all I can think about is how quickly can I possibly escape from this hell hole.
It’s funny how it all works and this thought has only just hit me now whilst writing this post but when it all comes down to it my sugar low food cravings and their outcomes are nothing more than a validation of the life metaphors of “wanting what you can’t have” and “not wanting what’s right in-front of you”. It’s sad really because what’s right in front of you, just as the case for a Diabetic needing sugar, is quite often the perfect thing for you.
PS. I’d kill for a pavlova right now. *drool*
Tags:
deep & meaningful,
diabetes,
food
Darren Mavromatis was a very special person in my life, when he sadly passed from a massive heart attack whilst on his honeymoon at the age of only 33 I, along with everyone else, couldn’t believe it.
