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Macs, Movies, Games, Books, etc. The Rants of a Mad Man.

Day 7: Baby steps on the road to Internet salvation

November 15th, 2007 by Raj

Today was a landmark day in what seems to be the never ending road that is my internet connection, or rather lack there of. You see today I had the most wonderful pleasure of being visited by Australia’s front running money stealing telecommunication provider Telstra. I’ve been looking forward to this day for a week now, you see even though I wont be using Telstra as my provider for any service at all because none of the wonderful mould-in-shower-growing tenants before me had done the courtesy of having a phone line connected to my new apartment. So being the wonderful country we are here in Australia it means our first and formally government owned telco is required to come out to your premises and plug in a few wires here and there because they’re the ones that own the infrastructure pretty much everywhere. (Unless you’re in an Optus HFC networked area which covers stuff all of the country and inexcusably wont connect to apartment buildings because they’re lazy even if you can basically reach out and grab the cable from your window. But I’m not bitter about that at all)

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Of course having an appointment with Telstra means completely writing off the good part of a day with their rather large visiting windows where someone must sit at home twiddling their thumbs until the rock up an hour after the window they gave you. My window of wait was the lovely hours of between nine and one in the afternoon, and as I so crassly stated in the previous sentence I was by no means expecting anyone to arrive until 2pm at the earliest going on past experience.

At about 10:30am I got a phone call from a private number on my mobile, fully expecting it to be work and answering in the according fashion.

“Good morning, Raj speaking” I chirped.
“Hi there… “ I normally get this delayed response when people that don’t know call as they try to figure out whether or not I said ‘Roy’ or ‘Ray’ as my name and more importantly whether they should attempt using it, he didn’t. “… it’s James from Telstra, just calling to let you know I’ll be there in about half an hour.”

Were my precious delicate ears deceiving me?! Not only was it two and a half hours before Telstra’s window was due to finish but by some crazy miracle the tech called me before coming around to ensure I was there and ready for him! Either I had the best Telstra tech in the world or they’ve done some serious work on their customer service in the past three years! Granted their installation delay still sucks arse with a seven day wait (for a Diabetic that legally requires a phone connection for emergencies I might add) but I was… and yes hold your breath here folks… I was impressed!
Pretty much half an hour later on the dot there was a buzzin’ on my intercom and in waltzed James the Telstra tech. Nice guy as far as telco techs go. He went to work and during we had a small chat about how we both work for telcos, neither of actually using our respective employers for internet or phone providers because their plans are incredibly ludicrous. We laughed, we bonded, it was beautiful. If it was a movie there would be soft lensed shots of us trotting between my floor and the basement to the building’s patch panel in slow motion. Very homo-erotic. The money shot of course being the insertion of my phone’s cord into the now active wall socket to unleash an orgasmic scream that is the dial tone of life. Woah! Didn’t think you could make a phone line install into porn now did you!

Phonesocket

So now; I have a phone. A phone that lets me use a dial up internet account. An internet account that is so incredibly slow because of me needing to use a V.34 string (Don’t know what that is kiddies? You’re too young and I feel old so piss off) to have a stable connection that I’ve resided to the fact checking my email once a day and posting these diary/blog entries is about all it’s good for.

I WANT MY BROADBAND!!!!

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