Preface:This whole (strange) post came about through a conversation I’d had with a friend, Philippa, about how I don’t actually listen to lyrics combined with my sister’s love/hate relationship with Britney’s musical offerings. When I set out to write this post I had it was planned to be a somewhat satirical aloof take on Britney Spears’ *cough* masterpiece *cough* “Circus”. What it turned in to was a rather surreal story of world domination that would have you thinking I was tripping on acid when in actual fact it turned out my sugar levels were low and to be honest I don’t actually remember writing half of what I did now reading it back. Regardless here it is, a lyrical analysis of Britney Spears’ “Circus” (whilst low on sugar).

Before we begin, for those of you that have no idea what song it is that I’m talking about feel free to jump over to YouTube and check it out. Once you’re done vomiting come back and continue reading… Oh and don’t worry I’m not about to go through the whole song, it’s surprisingly not that insightful!!! I know, hard to believe!

There's only two types of people in the world
The ones that entertain and the ones that observe
Well baby, I’m a put-on-a-show kind of girl
Don’t like the backseat, gotta be first

This is actually quite deep for Britney. She’s successfully divided the world’s 6.7 billion strong population into a distinct cross section clearly garnered from years of research with organizations such as the United Nations and Screen Actors Guild. Now that the world has been completely split in to two equally diverse categories it will calm down so that those that “observe” can watch those that “entertain” and we’ll all live in happy bliss. The only problem I can see in her theory of world peace is that just as she states “gotta be first” I fear a great deal of those living in the now secular society of “ones that entertain” will also feel the same way and quite quickly a civil feud may erupt, the next thing you know there’s hair, silicone & Prada bloodied and strewn across the streets of this new world. It’s actually quite apocalyptic for little old Brit’s.

I'm a like the ringleader, I call the shots
(Call the shots)
I’m like a firecracker I make it hot
When I put on a show

There’s not quite as much hidden in the next verse. Following on from the division of the world Britney has declared “Spears-Law” and emerged from the uprising as the new lord of “Princess-Land” as she’s named the US, which now holds the remaining population of “entertainers” post civil war. Britney rules over Princess-Land with fear tactics, promising that any of those who dare rise in opposition will feel the “firecracker” of justice and burn as she “make(s) it hot” for those that disobey. The rest of the world will watch in pale terror “When [she] puts on a show”

I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins
Spotlight on me and I’m ready to break
I’m like a performer, the dancefloor is my stage
Better be ready, hope that you feel the same

The pressures of ruling Princess-Land are beginning to take toll on poor Britney. Her rule is in jeopardy and with each adrenaline fueled strike she takes to topple the constant attempts to remove her as Queen she’s left alone, constantly in the spotlight of the new nation, “ready to break” under the pressure. Britney is no quitter though, she’s “like a performer”, not an *actual* performer by any means, that would require talent, and the stage is set for a final showdown between her 1984 drone-like followers and her once fellow entertainers, now plebeian subjects, to decide the fate of Princess-Land.

All eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus
When I crack that whip, everybody gon’ trip just like a circus
Don’t stand there watching me, follow me, show me what you can do
Everybody let go, we can make a dancefloor just like a circus

Leading up to the “Final War”, Britney and her cabinet begin a strategic marketing campaign to grab more attention & enlist the people to her and her cause. The “circus” is the unruly terrorist like attacks being employed by her enemy in Princess-Land against her, she stamps her authority over them and her subjects with a crack of “that whip” bringing everyone in to line once again, “Don’t stand there watching me, follow me”, enlisting them to take arms and fight for their ruler, “show me what you can do”.

There's only two types of guys out there
Ones that can hang with me and ones that are scared
So baby, I hope that you came prepared
I run a tight ship so beware

Britney’s efforts at enlisting the people have failed, they’ve turned against her and have been swept up by the underground movement spearheaded by Paris’ dog Tinker-bell, the now smartest living person in all of Princess-Land. Those closest to Britney are given the ultimatum to either come with her in a final stand or die, “There’s only two type of guys out there”. Oddly enough her original move and catalyst for all of this was dividing the world into two, she seems to not have learnt anything, once again dividing her remaining male followers, essentially handing down their death sentence either way.

[Repeated verses & chorus]

Now living underground in a burnt out Krispy Kreme store that fell through the ground in to the sewer system caused, ironically, by one of Britney’s bombings in the early days of the uprising, she begins to slip into a psychotic state still believing she is ruling what she had then labelled “Princess-Land” but is now the United States of Chihuahua with human life eradicated by Supreme Chancellor Tinker-Bell.

Let's go
Let me see what you can do
I’m runnin’ this like-like-like a circus
Yeah, like a what? Like-like-like a circus

Having not eaten for over a week and the decaying bodies of her loyal few rotting around her Britney spends her remaining hours of life rocking; chanting that she’s still running the world albeit a “circus”, her mind completely gone and her childhood stuttering returned “like-like-like”. Her life begins to wain and the song’s continued, seemingly never-ending, verse repetition signifies her dying moments in the cold shell of the Krispy Kreme bunker grave she dug for herself. From the highest of highs to lowest of lows her Circus of rule comes to a sad end and Chancellor Tinker-Bell restores the nation to pre Princess-Land glory.

All hail Tinker-Bell!

I’m not particularly in the habit of writing book reviews, in fact I don’t think I’ve really gotten around to doing such a thing since I was in the 8th grade at High School. That didn’t stop the boys at MacTalk sending me one to review though, which again -at first- seemed like a definite mystery to me too.

You see “Beat Heat Eat” is not your ordinary cookbook. It’s designed by a nerd and has a bunch of simple & tasty recipes for nerds. Seeing how I did at one stage co-host my very own Cooking Show and I am in fact a nerd (of sorts) it actually makes perfect sense that I should review the book after all. Isn’t it grand when everything just falls in to place?!

So be sure to jump over to MacTalk and check out another of my wondrous articles that just have you feeling all warm and gooey like a Cadbury Creme Egg. Hmmmm….. Creme Egg…….

Product Link: Wakefield Press
Article Link: http://forums.mactalk.com.au/…

Another day, another review written for MacTalk… but this time you’re in for a treat, it’s not just one item to satisfy your Apple accessory addiction, no this time I’ve written a big 2-for-1!

Jump on over to hear my thoughts on two of iLuv’s new iPod Audio Systems, the larger i552BLK “Portable Audio System with Radio” and it’s smaller cousin the i189BLK “Stereo iPod Dock with 3D Sound”. It’ll be fun… I promise!

Product Link: i552BLK, i189BLK
Article Link: http://forums.mactalk.com.au/…

In my latest review for those happy chaps at MacTalk I tackle the new iLuv i316 Micro size Bluetooth Headset, which you’ll find distributed by iWorld Australia. She’s a little beauty and I do say “little” emphatically as you’ll notice it’s small size in the photo above. So head on over and check it out, if not for the article do it for these cool photos that I’m quite proud of if I do say so myself. Enjoy!

Product Link: http://www.iworldaustralia.com.au/…
Article Link: http://forums.mactalk.com.au/…

Darren Mavromatis was a very special person in my life, when he sadly passed from a massive heart attack whilst on his honeymoon at the age of only 33 I, along with everyone else, couldn’t believe it.

Two years on and Darren’s sister-in-law, Amanda Zimmermann, in conjunction with The Heart Foundation Australia have organized the “Walk for Love” event to be held in Adelaide on the 16th of May.

The event is a walk from Brighton Beach to Glenelg and back again and all are encouraged to join in to promote personal health and heart illness awareness. For those of you that can’t make it to the walk itself please consider sponsoring either an individual walker or the event as a whole by visiting this page.

If you would like any further information please contact Amanda on 08 8229 9203 or email amanda [at] hsptravel.com


Important Links:
Walk for Love Donation page
Walk for Love - Information Sheet (PDF)
HSP Travel

Today I am straught with bitter-sweet emotion as today I took the final photo (seen above) in a series of personal portraits that I began snapping one year ago today. Every day for the past 365 days I’ve sat in front of my computer pulling faces, displaying props and trying to keep somewhat of a consistant white background as a part of the 365 day project on Flickr.

I can’t say that I’m overwhelmingly sad to come to the end, trying to do something different every day for a year is a challenge I’m exhausted of, but it does give you the opportunity to reflect over the past year. These photos cover my life in four different countries, through times of happiness, sorrow, excitement and boredom, hell it sounds like I’m in the middle of a wedding!

What I can confidently say is that I’m proud of myself for sticking with it and seeing it through to the end. It’s a feather in my cap and one that many of my friends who began the journey with me will be without.

To those who are thinking of enrolling in the task my best wishes go out to you but be aware of what you’re taking on because this is no easy road to walk down. Do your best and try not to let boredom get the better of you turning the daily task into a chore.

Lastly to others that have continued on beyond 365 days frankly I think you’re nuts! But I applaud you for having the strength to continue on!

The full 365 day set: http://www.flickr.com/photos/rdeut/sets/72157603745905122/

It’s not very often that I talk about being a Diabetic, sure I’ve got the website that I created DiabeticDays, but even with that I don’t particularly enjoy reminding myself that I am a Diabetic by talking about it all that often so this little blog post is somewhat of a rarity.

Lately I’ve been having a few sugar lows at the wonderful hour of 3am, which mean I wake up from my precious slumber and have to shovel sugar into my system before it goes low enough that I have a hypoglycemic attack which could lead to a Diabetic coma. Yes it sounds fun doesn’t it!? I know why they’re happening, I’ve been walking home from work the past few weeks and that combined with the more healthy diet that I’m trying to adhere to for cholesterol reasons all culminate into my body sucking up the nutrients hours after the exercise and not leaving any fatty crap for my insulin to work on. You do your best and adjust the amount of insulin that you take to prevent it form occurring but these things take time.

Anyway, when I wake up and begrudgingly drag myself from under the covers to my cupboard it is a rare opportunity for me to ingest foods that would most definitely be ruled forbidden in a Diabetic’s normal diet. Thoughts of chocolate, cake and ice cream begin to dance around in a Christmas like sugar plum fairy fashion and the possibilities of enjoying a treat seem endless. The problem is these fanciful dreams are crushed by the reality that hang on, you’re a Diabetic, you don’t have these types of things readily available in your pantry cupboards. Sure I keep a few of these things around for emergencies but it’s never what you really want at the time.

For example, last night I had a packet of Mars bars, my old faithful for these types of occasions because I know exactly how much I need to eat, but the thought of eating another freaking Mars bar does nothing more than make me want to vomit at times like these. No last night all I wanted was some ice cream; nothing fancy, just some plain old vanilla ice cream. Some creamy, thick, white gold that would melt in my mouth and its sugary contents dissolve into my blood stream. The silly thing is though that had there been ice cream in the freezer at the time even in addition to the Mars bars that were actually there it would have been the last thing that I’d have wanted. I’d probably want orange juice or cake or jelly beans anything you could think of besides what is actually available at the time.

Post sugar intake the cravings continue but as your brain has gotten back online with a now normal sugar enriched blood flow it turns to food in general. A fresh chicken and lettuce sandwich, pancakes, lamb roast… the possibilities limitless for what I can dedicate the next day to concocting once awoken. A few hours sleep and drive to the supermarket later and those midnight cravings have faded to nothing more than a sickening thought and with a world of ingredients laid before me on their consumer shelves all I can think about is how quickly can I possibly escape from this hell hole.

It’s funny how it all works and this thought has only just hit me now whilst writing this post but when it all comes down to it my sugar low food cravings and their outcomes are nothing more than a validation of the life metaphors of “wanting what you can’t have” and “not wanting what’s right in-front of you”. It’s sad really because what’s right in front of you, just as the case for a Diabetic needing sugar, is quite often the perfect thing for you.

PS. I’d kill for a pavlova right now. *drool*

The guys at MacTalk keep sending me crap to write about. Most recently it happens to be a USB webcam that you can plug in to your Mac or PC called the “Agent V4 HD“, something you probably surmised from the title of this post already.

So if webcams are your thing and you’re in the market for one then it’s probably worth you jumping over to the article and taking a look see. In fact, even if they’re not I think you should take a look anyways if only to say hello to my lovely assistant Sooty!

Product Link: http://www.liquiddigital.com.au
Article Link: http://forums.mactalk.com.au/20/67805-review-agent-v4-hd-webcam.html

Well ladies and gentlemans of “teh internets” (and yes I meant to write “gentlemans; grammar nazis), I don’t think there is any way I can possibly continue to draw out the chapter of my life that is the “Canadian Tales“. The time has come, one pregnancy term later, to dog-ear the page and put down the book for a well deserved kip.

That’s not to say that I haven’t done absolutely everything within my almighty skinny frame’s power to squeeze every last juicy drop from one poor carcass of an orange that now remains. For instance just one week ago I was once again extending my “working” holiday to the further reaches of Australia’s north, spending five days basking in the glorious humidity of a monsoon season’s grey sky in Port Douglas, Queensland with a friend.

I couldn’t have asked for a better wind-down than the Sea Temple Resort in little old Pee-Dee (Port Douglas). The holiday destination was borderline a ghost town being the rain season and my days were spent lounging around the pool and drinking. There’s something called the Great Barrier Reef up there somewhere, it didn’t come with a free breakfast buffet and mango cocktails though so I can’t say I got to it. I know, I know, sacrilegious, but another day.

This is all fine and dandy but I guess I should get down to the crux of it, which is the fact that my little soirée into the land of Canuck is over and it’s time to get back to the harsh realities of a real life, a new job and living in Melbourne to which I’ve just resigned to for the next 12 months having signed a new lease.

Obviously I’m asked quite frequently on my opinion of both Canada and my personal adventure and I must say excluding its abrupt ending and the ongoing battle I’m having with my travel insurance company (that’s another post altogether), I had an incredible time! Yes I missed everyone dearly and yes I was homesick on more occasions than I care to remember but it was an experience that I’d never take back, if anything it did nothing more than spur on my interest in doing it again!

For those of you that have seen me since my return I think you’d agree that something’s changed upstairs in the old noggin’. I feel free, unencumbered if you will and enjoying life in all its roller costing glory. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I’ve been contracting and not confining myself to an office 9 to 5, 5 days a week but I think it has far more to do with my own growth and a sense of achievement in knowing that I can survive out there in the big bad scary world; even if it was only Canada and everyone speaks English. But enough with excerpts from my upcoming novel “I went to Canada and I came back a self-help guru” let’s talk highlights!

Snow: Canada was just amazingly beautiful! I could list of a hundred different locations that were just so breath-taking but nothing compares to the first time I walked out of the office at 6pm and felt that first snow flake gently float through the sky to rest on my cheek. Sure I’ve been to snowfields before but this was just so different. You didn’t have to drive three hours up a mountain to find it all I had to do was go outside and there it was. I used to sit in my bedroom and stare out the window at downtown Toronto and just watch the wind carry and swirl the white dots as it pleased. It was just magical and I crave to see it again.

New York: Sure it’s not even in Canada but it was just a 20 minute flight across the border and boy does that city steal my heart! Having a couple of Lincoln lads there doesn’t do you in any disservice either. There aren’t words to describe the magnitude that is New York City. There isn’t anything you couldn’t find in the city and yet ironically you couldn’t not find anything to do. The architecture is what truly steals my heart though and with each visit I make the journey to “Top of the Rock” to breath in the enormity of the city’s beauty.

The Moose: Whilst it may not seem like a huge deal there’s a lengthy story to go along with it that I’ll now condense into one sentence. I saw a moose whilst simply driving down the road while my kayaking friends, rather desperate in their search for fauna, paddled their hearts out for six hours and saw squat! I win!

I had a truly wonderful time living on the other side of the world and to those who are thinking of going to Canada be it for holiday or work I couldn’t recommend it more. Now that I’m home I miss Toronto much more than I thought I would and I’m resolved to return (albeit most likely in a tourist capacity) to explore areas I didn’t have the opportunity to see such as Montreal and Quebec if not that then to see another NHL game!

Thank you Canada, or more specifically Toronto (and Hamilton) you were very good to me. And thus ends the Canadian Tales.

If wireless networking for legacy Macs is your thing, and I’m almost positive it is, then you might be interested in checking out a review of the Aeropad Mini from Macsense that I’ve written for MacTalk Australia.

The Aeropad Mini is a nifty little device that plugs into your computer’s ethernet port enabling it to connect to any 802.11b/g network without any software needed to be installed. It’s a great solution for Mac’s in particular because 90% of the wifi USB devices out there don’t work on a Mac (or need a lot of screwing around).

If this kind of thing floats your boat check it out here.